i'm over at the isle of kevin for a while...
the following words are cunningly disguised as a link..

the weight watcher on the jammy dodger and spinning combo diet regime is leaving in four weeks.

we're all bereft.
she's moving to a two bedroom rented house which has only got a bathroom upstairs and that is a problem because she has an old and incontinent cat.
but she's thinking about getting a second hand walking machine.
and she's got 599 things to do before she leaves and she just knows she's going to be awful to work with and she just wants to say sorry because she is SO busy.

but where should she have her leaving party?
who's coming?
come on - decide!

silence only came when the statuesque vanessa arrived with a plateful of chocolate brownies.

the weigh in was last night, so what the hell.

she's going to be missed.

a bit.

DIURNATION
- this strange word means being sleepy during the day.

it affects me most at around 3pm when my brain seems to think i have eaten a huge lunch with a big glass of red wine and therefore i should get my head down for an hour.

so, as i am off work today, can you guess where i'll be at 3?

they've been trying to sell their house for two years.
the bloke who wants to buy it is a nutter.

with all due respect if you are one, he's a combination of a librarian, a chartered accountant and a scout leader.

i do not want him living next door to me.
he'd definitely put net curtains in, just so he could twitch them every time i step outside.

so far, so good - the sale keeps falling through.

but now i discover, he's claiming it's all sorted.

i need to do something to stop this happening!

but what?

break a few windows?
buy an incontinent goat and let it wander in next door's garden?
get a drum kit?
run out and kiss him next time he comes for a viewing?

think, thespian!
think!

do you ever meet people and they remind you of a song?

i do it all the time.

i just ... wonder about things.

silly things, usually.

like, if sea levels rise three metres, does that mean no-one will be able to paddle any more.

i wonder why the nurses at my local health screening unit are so fat and unhealthy looking.

things like that.

i also wonder about other things, like why are trees called trees, and does anyone have a bath instead of a shower anymore, and why do older men get big red veiny noses.

i'm building up to go there one day.
i went to sri lanka once and loved it there - a tiny island, the teardrop on the end of india.

i found out that the average indian diet today has the same number of calories as the english diet did in 1850.
this was known as the pre-mcdonald period of english history.
i shudder to think how many calories we shovel down now.

the other thing i discovered was that indian people account for 38 per cent of doctors in America, 36 per cent of scientists at NASA, and 34 per cent of employees at Microsoft.

slim, and clever.

india here i come.

only one in 500 londoners walk to work, apparently.

rubbish!

travelling by london underground involves walking miles. and you usually have to stand all the way.

and anyway, isn't london quite a big place? so walking from wimbledon to greenwich would be a bit of a trek, wouldn't it?

i've just done my own survey and discovered that nine out of ten people think surveys are rubbish.

i love digging around to find out where words come from, and when i lived in the north west, i was very fond
of pendle hill - a dark and legendary place, full of atmosphere.

but why pendle hill? why not, dark and legendary hill?

well, now i have found out.

pendle is derived from...

pen = an old cumbrian word meaning hill

dle = is a corruption of the old english word hyll (also meaning, hill)

so pendle hill can be roughly translated as

Hill hill Hill

well, i thought it was interesting ...

one of my female colleagues was bragging that she did a double session of 'spinning' the night before.
apparently this involves sitting on an exercise bike and sweating to music.

she does this as part of her weight reduction regime.

i missed a few key words because she was talking about it through a mouthful of jammy dodgers.

anyway, the other news is that half the team i work with are leaving in a month's time.
this might mean i get offered some more work and/or pay - well, i don't think you can have one without the other, but
i know this is an old fashioned attitude.

and i've been offered some nicely paid project work by someone i used to work with, so things are looking up.

got to stop my nose running first.
any ideas?